Encourage a Friend by Forgetting

The photographic term for the effect in this image is bokeh. It’s where part of the image is in focus while other parts are blurry. It’s everywhere from photography to TV shows.

I believe it’s the perfect metaphor for the topic of this story. Just as the background in this picture is blurry and obscure, our memories of past wrongs need to fade into obscurity.

“Forgive but don’t forget!”

This gets tricky. No one, including me, wants to be duped over and over. The challenge is to forgive but not hold the wrong done over the head of the person who did it. If you keep bringing it up, have you REALLY forgiven the friend?

Harping on the past is like picking a scab. It’s going to leave a scar and those scars will never heal. The relationship is forever damaged.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Who among us has not needed someone to forget a wrong we did?
Let that sink in. I know it’s true for me.

There’s a proverb that helps me put this into perspective.

The proverb is NOT saying to excuse or overlook wrongdoing. The proverb is telling is to let things go and stop bringing up past wrongs.

Try this 3-point plan and see if it helps you.

Step 1:
Be Forgiving

Step 2: Be Willing to Move On

Step 3: Be Forgetful

Daily Doable: Focus on the virtues of your friend and let past mistakes blur into obscurity. A little amnesia will strengthen your relationship.

This is the third of several stories I’ll devote to this topic. I’m not going to identify this principle just yet. What I am going to do is drop some breadcrumbs.

I’m going to do a word jumble where I’ll give you a letter in each story. Today’s word is amnesia with the letter “A.” In the end, I’ll unscramble the letters and identify the principal.

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